You’re All I’m Wishing, To Be Honest
by Artemis Taichou
Summary: Short soulmate AU!


-AN: Hi. Long time no see, huh?

A lot has happened since I've last updated and I haven't really been writing much. I always come back to my stories though, it just takes a while.

I've had this one in my drafts for about four years and I finally finished it!

It's another soulmate au (I love soulmate au's) where soulmate marks are supposed to match.

Enjoy!

...

It becomes a universal habit for an individual to cover his, her or their mark. In some cases, some misguided individuals have been known to alter their soul mark by tattooing alterations to match another's, completely unbalancing the destiny of soul marks. Desperation can be an awful companion.

She knows that the one that is for her is not Sasuke without even seeing his mark--she feels it down in her bones. She's disappointed, of course, but not that much really, because if she thought she loved Sasuke, she can't imagine how it will feel when she meets the one that's meant for her!

Time passes and despite her young age and romantic heart, Sakura is willing to wait and is patient. He will show up one day. She just needs to be patient.

She's put on the same team as Sasuke and Naruto at the age of twelve. Almost immediately after the initial meeting with her sensei, she feels strong feelings for her jounin sensei...

...the dude's weird.

He never takes off his mask.

He giggles at books that Sakura just knows has dirty stuff in them.

He always makes up the lamest excuses.

And he, like, sat on Sasuke this one time (okay that was pretty funny).

Her (twelve year old) woman's intuition--you know, the one that makes her belly squirm whenever she sees him?--is totally right.

Weirdo.

...

When Sakura's fourteen, she asks Kakashi a question one day at training with Naruto and Sasuke.

They are taking a break over by the stream and while Sasuke and Naruto play tug-of-war with the last bottle of water, Sakura turns to Kakashi.

"Kakashi-sensei?" She asks politely.

"Hmm?" He answers, while reading his ever present book. The sun glints off of his silver hair. Sakura used to think that his hair was part of what made him so weird, but she's found that he's really not so weird anymore...just 'peculiar'.

"Do you have a sweetheart yet?" Sakura asks boldly. Some people are very private about their soulmate and their marks, but Kakashi-sensei is private about everything. So she just asks him outright. Sometimes asking without filters is the only way to get this man to talk, Sakura has found.

Kakashi visibly pauses, ruminating on her question. Even Sasuke and Naruto have stopped their wuss fight to listen.

"No, I don't have a sweetheart yet." He finally answers.

Sakura forges on "Why?"

Kakashi stops again, bringing a hand to rub his chin while he thoughtfully stares off into the sky.

He responds with "If I did, I'd break my neck, to please her and make her want to stay in my arms. You don't want your awesome sensei gone yet, do you?"

Sakura doesn't know why, but his answer makes her giddy and she blushes with girlish delight. She gives Kakashi the sunniest grin imaginable and can't seem to speak.

All he does is give her one of his crinkle-eyes smiles in return--a genuine one.

"You're such a cheeseball, Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto shouts over from the stream. "Gross."

Sakura makes sure to shout back, "You're gross, Naruto! Be quiet" Kakahi's reply was actually very sweet.

Five minutes later, though, Sakura's grumpy as hell...and she can't figure out exactly why.

The feeling sprang from somewhere along the thread of thought that if Kakashi has not found his soulmate yet, than that meant she was still out there somewhere. Wating. For her Sensei. And that made her grumpy. She just couldn't figure out why.

...

Four days later, Sasuke defects from the village.

She can't even begin to describe Naruto's devastation.

...

Sakura doesn't think, doesn't think, about what it would mean for Kakashi if she decided to ask Tsunade for an apprenticeship. She doesn't consider his feelings at all when she walks into the Hokage's office with her head held high and confidently asks the Lady Tsunade to train her.

Years later, he tells her that he still waited for her on their bridge at the time of their regular training the first day after Naruto had left with Jiraya.

...

Sakura doesn't see Kakashi much for the next two years. She pushes him aside in lieu of her training which is harsh and rigorous.

She doesn't realize how much she misses him until she spots him one day in the street, just ahead of her. He sees her too and raises a hand in a wave.

Sakura doesn't know what overcomes her, such joy she feels! She hadn't known something had been missing 'till then.

She registers her actions only after she's wrapped her arms around him, hugging him ever so tightly. She squeezes her eyes shut, soaking in the presence of Kakashi again. Oh what a feeling!

How could she not have made time for her favorite person?! What a fool she is!

Kakashi clears his throat and pats her head awkwardly. "Well," he jokes, "if I knew this was going to be your reaction, I'll stay away for longer next time."

Suddenly, she feels like bawling. "I'm sorry," she almost shudders, "I'm such a bad friend, I'm an idiot. I haven't seen you in over two years for more than a few seconds. I'm sorry" she says again, actually crying now. From her position against his chest, she can sense Kakashi panicking. Surely he hadn't expected an overly hormonal sixteen-year-old to blubber all over him on a nice sunny day like this?

"Uhh," Kakashi utters, completely at a loss. "It's alright, Sakura-chan! I know you're busy."

"That's no excuse," Sakura mumbles, more under control now. Wow, what a freaky wave of emotions. Sakura thought she was past that now at her age. "I hadn't realized how much I missed you is all."

She's afraid to unstick herself from him-she probably got snot all over his flak jacket.

He pats her hair again, this time less awkwardly, "It's okay, Sakura. I missed you too."

Realizing that they had been standing in the same position for a few minutes now, Sakura draws away from Kakashi, but reluctantly so.

She wipes at the front of his flak jacket with her sleeved arm. "I, uh, got some snot on you there, Kakashi-Sensei. Sorry." She looks down at her feet, mortified.

"Well, there are worse things to have on your jacket, believe me."

Sakura looks up to find him giving her one of his Kakashi Smiles. She smiles timidly back.

And then he asks, almost as if her snot fest hadn't put him off, "Want to go get lunch?"

Even though Sakura had just eaten, she immediately replies, "Yes!" Even if she couldn't have fit one more morsel in her stomach she would have said yes.

...

Sakura is seventeen and a jounin when Kakashi asks her to stop adding "Sensei" to his name.

"We're equal rank now, you know?"

Sakura acquiesces, thinking that it's been years since she's wanted to shed that honorific anyway, but was afraid of hurting his feelings. She wouldn't tell him this, but he hadn't really taught her much anyway.

She loves him to death, but he wasn't a very good teacher.

She values their relationship in the form of friendship more anyway.

...

One week later, Naruto comes home. Sakura is with Kakashi in a training field when Kiba finds them. They had gone to spar, but had ended up sprawled on the ground looking at fluffy clouds. She understood why Shikamaru liked it so much.

"Kakashi-Sensei, Sakura! You won't believe it! Guess who just walked through the gates?!"

Sakura's heart soars. "Naruto?!" She asks with bated breath.

Kiba nods enthusiastically. Sakura glances at Kakashi with glee and sees the same joy mirrored in his eyes before she jolts to her feet, and starts running. She can sense Kakashi right behind her.

"Naruto!" Sakura squeals when she sees him through the crowd gathered around him. She's truly gifted in friends.

Naruto's sunny smile reaches her before he does. He's gotten so tall, Sakura observes as he embraces her in a warm hug. He enfolds Kakashi next. Naruto doesn't even wait to let go of Kakashi before he starts jabbering away about everything imaginable.

"The village hasn't changed much, huh? You guys aren't going to believe the adventure I've been on! Where's Granny Tsunade? Wow, Sakura, you've gotten so pretty! Kakashi-Sensei, you look exactly the same!..."

Sakura eventually calms him down by inviting him to ramen.

"Oh boy, ramen! Haven't had that in a while. Well not the good kind anyway, there was this one time when Jiraya and me ate..."

...

Naruto and Sakura are by the stream again with Yamato and Sai (boy, had they just been a blast to get used to), and Kakashi. The day is warm and the sky clear, but Naruto is sitting despondently on the grass, looking incredibly sad.

"What's wrong?" Sakura asks softly. She hates seeing him sad.

He's not sure how to start at first. "Have-have you ever seen Sasuke's mark before?"

Sakura shakes her head.

"I saw it once by accident," Naruto says. "It was here by the stream. I'd pushed him into it and he'd stormed off, not realizing that I'd followed him. He took off his shirt to wring out the water and it was there, on his back by his left shoulder." Sakura's heart cracks a little when his voice does, "Sa-Sakura-chan, it looks exactly like mine."

Sakura brings a hand to her mouth, incredibly sad. Her gaze blurs with unshed tears for her friend.

"I didn't mean to make you sad, Sakura, I'm sorry," Naruto apologizes.

Sakura shakes her head and makes him a promise in return, grasping his hand tightly. "Naruto, I promise you that I will do anything in my power to help you bring him back, even if I have to drag him here. I'll search the heavens and the earth below if I have to!" Naruto does not need any more pain in his life, she will not allow it.

She knows she's said it with such conviction when Naruto gives her a megawatt smile.

...

Sakura always seems to gravitate towards Kakashi--she's not sure why.

He's always there when she needs him, but that's always been true. She's growing older and she sees things in a different light, but Kakashi's always been there and he's always had the same way about him. Nothing's changed, not really, but...

...she always seems to gravitate towards him.

...

One day, eighteen-years-old now, she finds Kakashi at the cemetery. She knows he goes there often, but she had never wanted to interrupt his time there. Today, though, today he looks so weighed down with grief that it twists her heart looking at him. Naruto's pain to her is heartbreaking, but Kakashi's, Kakashi's is cataclysmic.

Her feet take her next to his bowed form, penitent as if paying for a crime.

"Kakashi?" She asks softly. The day is freezing and he's not wearing a jacket. The tips of his fingers are turning blue and she wonders with mild panic how long he's been here.

He doesn't respond, then...

"I-I-" pain, such pain in his voice that it breaks.

She knows the names on the graves, knows the story behind them. Some days are worse than others and Sakura knows this all too well.

This is a very bad day.

Oh, if she could only take his pain. She would bear it all if only she would never have to witness this man break in ways she couldn't see.

She would cry with him, if only the act wouldn't make him feel worse, so instead she takes his hand. The skin is cold, so she brings her other hand over to rub more warmth back into his fingers. She works in his other hand next and he lets her, but he still won't look at her.

"Kakashi? It's cold. Will you come with me?" He still won't look at her, so she puts two fingers under his chin and tips his head to meet her gaze. His eyes are tired as if he hadn't slept for days. His mask is down, but she's seen his face before and what an experience it is! Though all he really needs right now is a good shave.

He looks so sad.

Sakura leans forward and buries her cold nose in his neck and wraps her arms around his middle. She knows that physical contact makes him uneasy, but maybe he needs hugs every now and again and he just doesn't know it. Plus he feels amazing.

"Kakashi? I don't want to look back and see you gone too. Please come with me. Tomorrow's another day."

He moves then, and she feels his arms go inside her jacket and soak in her warmth. He's shivering and his arms are freezing.

Sakura steps a little away from him and tugs his arm, "Come on."

And so he follows her.

...

Kakashi asks her one day: "Do you ever think that maybe you're not good enough to have a soulmate? Or to ever meet them?"

Sakura stops pouring tea and sets down the pot carefully. "Kakashi, what are you asking me?"

He's picking at her table cloth and won't meet her eyes.

"Kakashi?" Sakura repeats, adding more sternness to her voice, but he still won't answer. She forgets the tea and goes over to kneel in front of him.

"Kakashi, you're good enough for love and to be loved. Are you asking me if you're good enough? Sometimes, I don't know, sometimes things just don't happen the way you want them to. I haven't met my soulmate yet either, you know."

Ino had, it was Shikamaru and so had Hinata with Kiba. Yes, it made her a little more lonely, but she wasn't giving up yet.

"There's still time."

He smiles softly at her, not wearing his mask. "How come you always know what to say?" He flicks her nose with affection.

Sakura grins and waves his hand away, getting to her feet again.

Warmth seeps down to her very toes and spreads all throughout her body.

...

One year later and Sakura recognizes the fact that she and Kakashi prosper together weirdly enough. She doesn't dwell on it much.

Sakura is nineteen and the war is two months behind Konoha. Still she keeps her mark hidden.

Sasuke has realized the error of his ways and come back to the village. Sakura had kept her promise to Naruto, too, seeing as she had technically dragged Sasuke back to the village because he had been unconscious at the time.

At the moment, Sakura is eyeing Sasuke's back as they walk towards Ichraku's and relishing in her mind that she is totally stronger than him and the sucker really doesn't stand a chance. Sakura realizes that he had just gotten out of the hospital and that maybe this wasn't the best idea, but she pounces anyway.

Naruto lets out a yelp as Sakura and Sasuke tumble to the floor, Sakura sitting on his back and pinning him down. Kakashi, Yamato, and Sai scoot away.

She grabs a fist full of Sasuke's hair and shoves his face into the dirt. "Apologize, asshole," she growls. Not once had he acted as if he'd done anything wrong or had hurt Naruto so profoundly. She lets his face be free of the dirt for a moment and Sasuke splutters, spitting out chunks of dirt. "Sakura, get off."

"That's not an apology."

He tires very hard to buck her off but to no avail. She pushes his face into the dirt again.

"Arghh, okay, okay! Damn you! I'm sorry, okay?" He stops struggling. "I really am." He says, quieter now.

Sakura hops off of him. "Was that so hard?"

Sasuke grumbles as he gets to his feet, occasionally spitting out more dirt.

"You've got some grass in your teeth, by the way. Did you know?" Sakura gestures in between her teeth in a patronizing manner.

She then bolts because Sasuke's eyes narrow and he looks as if he's going to tackle her in return. She's laughing as she goes but she looks back long enough to see Naruto laughing his ass off and Kakashi sticking out his foot and tripping Sasuke so he falls face first into the ground again.

Sai whips out his sketch pad and starts drawing a picture of a fallen Sasuke while Yamato looks over his shoulder.

...

On the day Ino and Shikamaru get married, Sakura stares at her mark for a very long time.

She's at home now and the lighting is dim, but she peels back her sleeve to reveal the small mark. Small in size, yes but not in meaning.

She's twenty-two and sometimes she wishes to erase it only if to remove this weight that she feels others impose on her because if it.

"Oh, sweetie, you haven't met yours yet?" "Oh well, maybe settle with another nice young man, hm?" "Not everyone meets their soulmate you know?" "Wait, how old are you again?"

She hates the pity or contempt in everyone's gaze when they find out.

Sakura knows there's statistics out there, knows that if you don't meet your soulmate 'before' the age of eighteen that your chances to ever meet them lessen by more than she'd like to think about.

There's still time, though.

There's still time.

...

Sakura's twenty-four and Tsunade offers her a mission.

"The Kazekage asked for you specifically, Sakura. He wants you There for at least six months to train his medics."

If she's going to be honest with herself, she could use some time away. Naruto and Sasuke have been spending more and more time together, Ino and Shikamaru had just had a baby, and Hinata and Kiba had just gotten married. Ten Ten had even found her other in Neji. Worse, Kakashi has been going on so many missions lately and she's been feeling restless and lonely.

Yeah, she could use some time away and maybe Tsunade sees that as well.

Sakura accepts the mission.

Hey who knows? Maybe her meant to be is somewhere in the streets if Suna?

...

Ugh, he's not, he's definitely not!

It's always hot and she feels constantly sticky. She glares at the sweltering sun, well somewhere to the right of it because you're not supposed to stare directly into it, of course.

She's been in Suna for a month and she misses home very much. If it weren't for her mission, she'd already have gone sprinting back to Konoha. It's too hot!

Five more months to go.

Sakura starts her trek back to her erstwhile living quarters when she spots a familiar face. It couldn't be...

"Kakashi!" Sakura exclaims, not caring that she's drawn half of the streets attention.

Kakashi grins sheepishly behind his mask and waves as he comes to stand before her. He's wearing his regular attire and looking for all the world as if she had just seen him yesterday.

Sakura had no words to express her joy. Actually, she's kind of vibrating in place. Weird.

Kakashi clears his throat and says, "I, ah, asked for vacation and well," he rubs the back of his neck, "I thought to myself, what better way to spend a vacation than here."

Liar, liar, no one would want to come to this oven for a vacation! But she doesn't say this out loud. Instead she grins knowingly and looks he looks away, the tips of his ears red.

"You missed me," Sakura says, cajoling.

Kakashi drops his hand from where it was self-consciously rubbing the back of his head and declares without any more circumvention, "I, well, yes, I did."

Sakura fells like doing a jig right where she stands but instead of freaking everyone out, she loops her arm through Kakashi's and starts walking with him.

"So, how long did you get your vacation for?"

"Five months."

Sakura can't help but give him a quick kiss on the cheek as they walk.

Funnily enough, she sort of feels as if she's home again.

...

Kakashi injures his right arm one day while they're sparring on a field of sand one week later. The arm is scraped and bleeding, with bits of tiny rocks imbedded within the wound.

It was meant to happen this way, she thinks later, when she remembers this day. Every moment, good or bad, has led to this day, this night, and this very second. Everything culminates into one reality.

Sakura asks him if she can see his arm and as she peels back his sleeve, Sakura doesn't think about the fact that she's never asked him where his mark is. She certainly doesn't think it's on his arm based on how he doesn't even flinch when she draws back his sleeve...

...but there it is.

In the exact same spot hers is in except on the opposite hand...and looking exactly the same.

She's frozen for a moment, not able to comprehend what is happening or the monumental event.

But then, everything is the same again and nothing has changed really and at the same time everything has changed too.

"Sakura?" Kakashi asks, jolting her back into action. She cleans his arm and then heals it swiftly.

She doesn't meet his eyes and stays on the floor with her knees tucked in to her chin. She hugs herself to guard against the biting chill of the desert. She's not at all cold, though.

"What's wrong, Sakura?" Kakashi asks, concerned.

Sakura's only answer is to stick out her left arm as an offer.

She feels his calloused fingers tugging at the cloth of her long sleeves and she stares at the heaves. The stars are magnificently bright, but they're a bit blurred from her perspective.

What if he's disappointed?

What if--?

Kakashi's folded away the cloth and her bare forearm lightly reflects the light of the full moon.

He's as paralyzed as her, but only for a second. Then, his thumb ghosts over her mark, as if he's afraid of wiping it away if he presses too hard.

Sakura still can't look at him. Her breathing is quick and her heart tries it's best to beat out of her chest.

Kakashi speaks finally and his provocative declaration of his love for her he utters in six words: "Well, that sure explains a lot."

His words prompt Sakura to meet his gaze and burst out laughing. Her laugh is not of the amusement induced kind, but a mirth of relief. His answering laugh mirrors hers and she sees in his eyes what she feels in her heart: I don't know what I would have done if it wasn't you.

She can't help herself. Her joy bubbles over and her cry of pure happiness is the only warning Kakashi has before she jumps him. Sakura flings her arms around his neck and because he's not wearing a mask, she kisses him full on the mouth. His arms, strong and safe as ever, catch her and hold her close. The kiss is short and dry, but she almost explodes with the sensation.

Kakashi grins against her mouth.

He was right there all along.

Maybe Suna isn't all that bad.

...

"Granny Tsunade, can I go to Suna with Sasuke?"

Tsunade, nursing a massive headache, rubs her temples. This brat had better start running if he knows what's good for him.

"What the hell for?"

Tsunade lifts her head to see Naruto looking bashfully at the floor. "We miss Sakura-chan and Kakashi-sensei."

"And how is that my problem," Tsunade responds grouchily.

"Did you know that Suna has a festival going on right now? It's to celebrate the wine god and right now, all alcohol is free for as long as the festival goes on, which is a whole week. If we leave now, we could have four whole days of free booze."

No, she did not know that.

"Ah, well, I suppose it is time for a diplomacy visit to Suna. What better time than now?" She catches Naruto's triumphant grin. "Hey," she catches his attention, "This was my idea, okay?"

Naruto nods his head in agreement, "Of course, of course," he pauses, "can Yamato and Sai come too?"

Tsunade sighs, "Whatever."

"Yay!" Naruto turns on a dime and skips out of her office. She hears him shout through her office door, "Guys, she said yes!"

Half the damn village ends up going.

Well she can't blame them, free booze is free booze.

Although, she does sort of miss Sakura too.

...

Kakashi invites her to dance at the festival.

The night is a balmy one as they sway gently to the soft music. Kakashi takes Sakura's hand and twirls her smoothly as she grins delightfully. At that moment, nothing really exists but that small moment and feeling of absolute happiness. They keep to themselves, in a little corner of the market where the festival is being held, but for all their efforts of ignoring all else save for themselves, several voices filled with astonishment breaks through their attention.

...

A brouhaha of Konoha ninja arrive in Suna at the peak of the festival.

Ino wants to go dance, but Naruto wants to go eat ramen, Sasuke insists they go check out the weapons shack, Tsunade of course wants to head straight toward the wine sampling, and a handful of other Konoha shinobi wants to do a dozen other things and seeing as the activities all relatively in the same direction, off they go!

The soft music that greeted the shinobi at their arrival is pleasantly culminating as they walk through a storm of color, from brightly hued banners to swiftly swishing clothes of all colors imaginable.

And then they turn a corner...

"Oh my god..." Ino says in a hushed tone, hand held to her mouth.

Tsunade tilts her head back and a throaty "hah" escapes: "I knew it!".

Naruto pushes his way to the front of the crowd, curious to see what has those two in a tizzy. "What's going on baa-chan? Hm? What'cha guys looking at? Hm?" His blue eyes dart around the crowd, looking for the source of attention...

"No way..." Nartuo tone just as astonished as Ino's. "Teme, look."

Sasuke blinks owlishly once he looks.

Guy sidles up next to the lot of them and promptly bursts out sobbing. "The Springtime of Youth has finally reached my great rival! HOW MOMENTOUS!"

Sakura and Kakashi, oblivious for the time being of half of Konoha gawking at them, dance on happily. Their marks, which line up side by side as they hold hands to dance, are proudly on display.

...

AN: You'll notice that I didn't describe their soul marks: I honestly couldn't think of a good enough one to fit the ultimate Naruto pairing, so I thought I'd leave it up for interpretation.

Thanks for reading!


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